There is something particularly offensive about being exhausted all day, finally getting into bed, falling asleep… and then finding yourself completely awake at 3.07am.
Not pleasantly awake, either.
Wide awake. Brain online. Suddenly remembering the email you forgot to send, wondering whether you should repaint the spare room and replaying a conversation nobody else remembers from 2014.
If your sleep has gone slightly rogue in your 40s, you are far from alone.
Sleep problems become increasingly common during the menopausal transition, and they don't always look like simply "not being able to sleep". You might fall asleep perfectly well but wake repeatedly. You might wake too early. Night sweats may pull you out of sleep. Or you might experience that maddening combination of being physically exhausted while your brain seems determined to keep going.
Hormones can be part of the story. But they're not necessarily the whole story.
And that's important, because good sleep isn't just about feeling less tired tomorrow. It's one of the major ways our bodies and brains recover.
There isn't one single reason.
During perimenopause, levels of oestrogen and progesterone begin to fluctuate. Research suggests these hormonal changes can affect sleep both directly and indirectly, including through changes in temperature regulation, mood and vasomotor symptoms such as hot flushes and night sweats.
The relationship is complicated, though. Ageing itself changes sleep. Stress can interfere with it. Alcohol and caffeine can play a role. So can anxiety, restless legs, sleep apnoea and other health conditions.
In other words, waking at 3am doesn't automatically mean "it's your hormones".
But if it has started happening alongside other perimenopause symptoms, hormones are certainly worth including in the conversation.
And night sweats deserve a special mention.
It's difficult to achieve beautiful, uninterrupted sleep when your internal thermostat has apparently been handed to a toddler.
A hot flush or night sweat can wake you, after which the problem may become less about temperature and more about getting your brain to switch off again.
That's when 3am can become a very long hour.
We sometimes talk about sleep as if its main purpose is preventing us from being grumpy the following morning.
Useful, certainly. But there's considerably more going on.
Sleep plays a role in memory, emotional regulation, immune function, metabolism and physical recovery. It's also when the body gets important restorative work done.
This becomes particularly relevant in midlife.
We're constantly telling women over 40 to strength train, maintain muscle, eat enough protein, manage stress, support their metabolic health and look after their brains.
All good advice.
But there's another part of that equation that gets much less attention:
If you're training hard, working, raising children, helping ageing parents, managing a household, dealing with hormonal changes and generally carrying the invisible admin of being a functioning adult, recovery isn't the lazy bit at the end.
It's part of the work.
One terrible night's sleep is unpleasant.
Repeated poor sleep is different.
When you're tired, exercise can feel harder. Concentration can disappear. Patience becomes somewhat theoretical. Hunger and cravings can feel different. And the things you'd normally handle without much drama can suddenly feel enormous.
Then there's stress.
Stress can make sleep more difficult. Poor sleep can leave us feeling less equipped to deal with stress the next day. Which can make the next night's sleep harder.
A deeply unhelpful little feedback loop.
This is one reason we've become much more interested in recovery as we've moved through our own midlife years.
For a long time, wellness culture has been very good at telling women what else they should be doing.
Train more.
Eat better.
Walk more.
Meditate.
Take the supplements.
Drink the water.
Get your steps.
Apparently we're also supposed to have hobbies.
At some point, perhaps we should talk about whether we're actually giving our bodies enough opportunity to recover from all this excellent behaviour.
There isn't one magic trick, and anyone promising one is probably trying to sell you something.
The more useful approach is to work out what is disrupting your sleep.
If hot flushes are repeatedly waking you, dealing with vasomotor symptoms may be important. If your mind won't switch off, stress may need more attention. If you've developed persistent insomnia, an evidence-based treatment such as cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) may be worth discussing with a healthcare professional.
And sometimes the boring basics really do matter.
A reasonably consistent sleep and wake time helps reinforce your body's circadian rhythm. Morning daylight provides another useful signal to that internal clock. Regular exercise can support sleep, although a punishing workout late in the evening isn't everyone's idea of a sedative.
It's also worth becoming curious about alcohol.
A glass of wine may make you feel sleepy initially, but alcohol can disrupt sleep later in the night. If you've noticed that your 3am waking is worse after drinking, that's useful information. You don't need a lecture. You need data about your own body.
The same applies to caffeine. The coffee you could drink at 4pm without consequence at 32 may not be behaving quite so innocently now.
And if you're lying in bed answering emails until 10.47pm and expecting your nervous system to be unconscious at 10.48pm, it might be worth creating a little more space between doing and sleeping.
Not a 14-step wellness routine involving chanting and moon water.
Just a transition.
Lower the lights. Put the laptop away. Have a shower. Read. Stretch. Sit somewhere quiet. Do something that tells your brain: we're finished for today.
Sleep and recovery are closely connected, which is exactly why we created Reboot.
We weren't interested in pretending one supplement could solve every reason a woman might be sleeping badly.
We wanted something that could sit alongside the fundamentals and support the things we kept hearing women describe: difficulty switching off, nervous tension, disrupted sleep, stress and physical tension at the end of the day.
Reboot combines traditional herbal ingredients with magnesium and zinc to support night-time calm, sleep and recovery.
Passionflower, English Lavender and Lemon Balm are included to support relaxation and sleep. Passionflower supports healthy sleep patterns and helps decrease the time taken to fall asleep, while Lavender supports sleep quality and Lemon Balm supports physical and emotional relaxation.
Ashwagandha KSM-66® is included to support the body's response to stress, mood balance and restful sleep.
Reboot also contains California Poppy, Brahmi and Kava Kava, selected to support refreshing sleep, recovery from stress, emotional steadiness and relief from nervous tension.
Then there's magnesium.
Reboot contains 150mg of magnesium per daily dose to support muscle relaxation and help ease night-time muscle cramps, alongside zinc to support recovery and general wellbeing.
We take Reboot after dinner. Not because 7pm is some magical supplement hour, but because making it part of the evening routine gives us a useful cue:
And sometimes rituals matter almost as much as routines.
Learn more about Reboot and what's inside it.
This might be one of the more useful mindset shifts we've made around exercise and health after 40.
Not every day needs to be a personal best.
If you've slept terribly, recovery might mean adjusting your training. It could mean walking instead of doing a hard session. Going to bed earlier rather than forcing yourself through another episode. Eating properly instead of attempting to survive on coffee because you're tired.
That's not "giving up".
That's responding to information.
We're very interested in women getting stronger as they age. We want muscle. We want strong bones. We want energy, independence and bodies capable of taking us places for decades to come.
But strength isn't only built during the workout.
The recovery matters too.
Please don't assume months or years of poor sleep are simply something you have to tolerate because you're in perimenopause.
Persistent insomnia deserves attention.
So does loud snoring, waking gasping or choking, significant daytime sleepiness, uncomfortable sensations in your legs at night or sleep problems that are affecting your ability to function during the day.
Sleep disorders including obstructive sleep apnoea can occur in women during the menopausal transition, and the symptoms aren't always recognised.
Similarly, if hot flushes and night sweats are regularly destroying your sleep, talk to your GP or menopause healthcare professional about your options.
Perimenopause might explain why something has changed.
It doesn't mean you have to live with it.
When we were younger, recovery felt optional.
You could sleep badly, get up, have coffee, exercise, work all day, go out that night and somehow remain vaguely operational.
Midlife has been an excellent reminder that the body keeps receipts.
And perhaps that's useful.
Because instead of asking, "How much more can I squeeze out of myself?", we're increasingly interested in a different question:
"What does my body need to keep doing the things I love for a very long time?"
Sleep is part of that.
So is movement. Muscle. Food. Friendship. Fun. Purpose. Doing things that make you feel like yourself rather than turning health into another full-time job.
We don't want women spending the second half of their lives endlessly optimising themselves.
We want enough energy to actually enjoy it.
And sometimes that starts with getting some bloody sleep.
Lisa & Kate xx
Reboot: Sleep, Stress & Muscle Function Support for Women 40+
Discover Reboot and explore the ingredients selected to support night-time calm, sleep quality, stress recovery and muscle relaxation.
Always read the label and follow the directions for use. Vitamin and mineral supplements should not replace a balanced diet. If symptoms persist, seek the advice of a healthcare professional.
