No. Menopause can be incredibly difficult for some women, relatively uneventful for others, and somewhere in the messy middle for many of us.
And that distinction matters.
For years, women fought (rightly) to have menopause recognised as a legitimate health issue. Symptoms were dismissed, women weren’t given enough information and too many were left wondering what on earth was happening to their bodies.
We needed to talk about it.
But I think we’ve reached an interesting point in the conversation.
In finally becoming very good at talking about everything that can go wrong in menopause, are we accidentally teaching the next generation of women to be terrified of it?
Menopause deserves to be taken seriously.
But midlife deserves a bigger story.
Because menopause happens in a body, but it also happens inside a life.
The Australasian Menopause Society notes that menopausal symptoms can be influenced by multiple biopsychosocial factors, including physical and psychological health, age, attitudes towards menopause, ethnicity and education.
In other words, hormones matter. But context matters too.
A woman reaching perimenopause might also be:
If she’s exhausted and overwhelmed, menopause may be contributing.
It may not be the whole explanation.
This is one of the areas of wellbeing science I find most interesting: human beings don’t operate in tidy little silos.
Hormones interact with sleep. Sleep affects our capacity to cope with stress. Stress affects recovery. And meanwhile, someone still needs to remember the school excursion form.
When we revisited our Women’s Health & Happiness research, 76.2% of women aged 41–60 rated “I often feel tired and overwhelmed with all the things I have to do” at six or above on a ten-point scale.
The women’s comments helped explain what sat behind those numbers.
They talked about work. Children. Ageing parents. Health. Money. Relationships. Responsibility.
Importantly, our research wasn’t designed to prove menopause caused that overwhelm.
And that’s exactly the point.
Not everything happening to a woman in midlife is menopause.
But menopause can change the resources she has available to deal with everything else.
Yes — and this is where the science becomes particularly interesting.
A major 2026 scoping review published in the Journal of Happiness Studies examined 181 studies of emotional, psychological and social wellbeing across the menopausal transition.
Researchers looked beyond distress and symptoms to concepts including optimism, resilience, self-compassion, personal growth, purpose, positive emotion and life satisfaction.
The overall picture was nuanced.
More severe menopausal symptoms were consistently associated with poorer emotional and psychological wellbeing.
But menopausal stage itself did not neatly determine whether a woman was psychologically well.
That’s important.
It means we can hold two truths at the same time:
Symptoms matter enormously.
And:
Menopause itself does not automatically equal poor wellbeing.
This is a distinction I think has been missing from the conversation.
No.
And please don’t let anyone convince you that a sufficiently enthusiastic gratitude journal will cure a hot flush.
Research has found associations between factors such as optimism, resilience, self-compassion and attitudes towards menopause and women’s reported wellbeing.
But association isn’t the same as causation.
Thinking positively is not a treatment for clinically significant menopause symptoms. Nobody experiencing severe insomnia, anxiety, depression or vasomotor symptoms should be told she simply needs a better attitude.
That’s not wellbeing science.
It’s deeply annoying.
What psychology can help us understand is that our wellbeing is shaped by more than one system. Biology matters. Psychology matters. Relationships matter. Environment matters.
We don’t have to choose between them.
Know enough to recognise the common symptoms.
Know that experiences vary.
Know there are evidence-based treatment options.
Know that new, severe, persistent or worrying symptoms deserve proper assessment.
Know that you are allowed to ask questions until you understand your choices.
But I’d like women to know something else too:
You are not approaching an inevitable decade of decline.
You can need treatment and still feel hopeful.
You can find parts of ageing confronting and other parts liberating.
You can lose things and gain things.
You can have a terrible Tuesday and still be flourishing.
Human beings are inconveniently complicated like that.
Flourishing doesn’t mean being deliriously happy every morning while drinking our greens powder in activewear.
In wellbeing science, flourishing is much richer than that.
It can include connection, purpose, positive emotion, autonomy, growth, resilience and having enough physical and psychological capacity to participate in your own life.
For one woman, flourishing might mean finally getting her sleep under control.
For another, it’s strength training.
For another, proper medical treatment.
For another, leaving the job she has hated for six years.
And for someone else, it might be learning salsa, painting badly, travelling alone or doing something gloriously pointless simply because she enjoys it.
Joy counts too.
I want us to take women’s symptoms seriously without teaching women to fear their bodies.
That’s the balance.
Menopause deserves good medicine, good information and better research.
But women deserve something more than a catalogue of everything they’re apparently about to lose.
Because we’re not only interested in helping women get through midlife.
We’re interested in what helps women live well in it.
Menopause deserves good medicine. Midlife deserves a bigger story.
Is menopause always difficult?
No. Experiences vary substantially between women.
Can menopause affect mental health?
Yes. Changes in mood and sleep can occur, and significant symptoms deserve appropriate healthcare.
Can you be healthy and happy during menopause?
Absolutely. Menopausal stage alone does not determine wellbeing.
Should every midlife symptom be blamed on menopause?
No. Symptoms can have multiple causes, which is why appropriate assessment matters.
What should good menopause care aim for?
Not simply reducing symptoms, but helping women protect their health, maintain capacity and live well.
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By Lisa Walker, Co-founder of Eir Women. Lisa studies wellbeing science through the Master of Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne and co-led Eir Women’s original Women’s Health & Happiness research into women in midlife.
